


don't message me

by exdemonofheaven



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also drama, Also kageyama may be a little bit smarter when he's mad, And tsukki isnt that mean in this, Like a lot of drama, M/M, and shitty friends apparently, asahi is scared, but that would be murder, hinata is super gay, kageyama is a stubborn turd, kageyama is also an embarrassed birb, lol jk they just tease too much, noya and tanaka are shitty memes, oikawa is such a little slut i s2asahi, rated t because i am irresponsible, so no, suga and daichi want to kill their children, switches between chat and chapters, tsukishima is confused, yamaguchi is high
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-07-27 09:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7612714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exdemonofheaven/pseuds/exdemonofheaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Group chat has been renamed to Karasuno's crows.</p><p> </p><p>{ Chapters range from never-ending to shorter-than-Nishinoya, there is no in-between. }</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. no.

**KageyamaTobio** has been added to the chat.

 

 **KageyamaTobio:** Um...Hi?

 

 **LittleGiant10:** KAGS

 

 **KageyamaTobio** has logged off.


	2. don't.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much just a little more insight on how I think Kageyama would respond to the world of constant notifications.

**KageyamaTobio** is online.

The notifications came too quickly for Kageyama to react. Some from Kik, others from Skype, none over text but that was to be expected from people who didn't even remember a phone line existed. However, when Kageyama finally did react, it wasn't too pleasant for his phone...or the wall. Not used to the continous buzzing of his cellular device, it seemed to him that the small machine was either possessed or about to explode. After a long moment, the buzzing ceased, with perhaps one or two in each set of five seconds.

Slowly, Kageyama edged over and grabbed his phone hesitantly. Pulling down the notifications bar, he was surprised to find that not only had he been spammed on Kik, his Skype had been taken over by missed calls and several group chats, and his Instagram (which was private, so who would expect this many messages?) was crashing from the amount of tagged photos and comments, as well as direct messages. For a minute, he was confused, and strangely not worried. Until, that is, he finally checked his Skype thoroughly.

 **Noyaoyaoya, Tanakakaka, TheLittleGiant10, Dadchi, Sugamama, TsukishimaKei** (of course he'd go with his name), **Yamzzzz, BestAceEvrr** (Noshinoya picked that one for him) and **OhNoShitAh**. Several group chats with them, as well as individual messages. (Tsukishima hadn't really sent any except for a few over the group chats saying that he didn't want to be in them.) Kageyama was confused as to why he was being bombarded on all social media accounts. It wasn't his birthday.

Kageyama shut his phone off once again, not bothering to reply, and slipped under his bed cover. It was too late for this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feedback I got for the first chapter was actually quite surprising. I never knew something that short could interest people enough to comment and leave a kudo!
> 
> This is just a short chapter on how I think KageyamaTobio would react to the whole group chat stuff, seeing as we all know this smol bean has never been that popular. ( Sorry kags ;-; )
> 
> Hope I can keep you all entertained for the next while! Also, hopefully I don't run into that self-hate habit I have where all my writing seems like ew to me. I have a lot of idea though.
> 
> \- Keith
> 
> P.s. The usernames are totally based off their personality/how they act.


	3. what the fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama angrily reacts to a certain "prank" pulled on him by a few teammates. Ennoshita doesn't even bother, he's just so done.

**KageyamaTobio** has logged on.

**KageyamaTobio** has started group chat with **Sugamama, Dadchi, Noyaoyaoya, Tanakakaka, Yamzzzz, TsukishimaKei, OhNoShitAh, and BestAceEvrr.**

**KageyamaTobio:** If someone doesn't start answering my questions real soon, I'm gonna make Daichi mad on purpose.

**OhNoShitAh:** Let me state right now that you know very well I didn't do anything.

**Noyaoyaoya:** woah what's up with you????

**KageyamaTobio:** As if you don't know you lying little minx.

**Tanakakaka:** yo take a chill pill bro and tell us what you mean

**KageyamaTobio:** I WILL LITERALLY EAT THE UNBORN CHILDREN OF YOUR WIVES.

**OhNoShitAh:** woah

**Noyaoyaoya:** woah

**Tanakakaka:** woah

**Sugamama:** what

**Noyaoyaoya:** MOMMY

**Tanakakaka:** KAGS IS THREATENING US

**Noyaoyaoya:** AND OUR CHILDREN

**OhNoShitAh:** yeah no I'm pretty much done I'm out

**OhNoShitAh** has logged off.

**Tanakakaka:** awe

**Noyaoyaoya:** pfft

**Tanakakaka:** shut up

**Sugamama:** Kageyama, what's wrong?

**Noyaoyaoya:** MOM NO (ToT)

**Tanakakaka:** YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE WORRIED ABOUT US

**KageyamaTobio:** Why don't you ask the two malicious idiots typing stupid things into the chat?!

**TsukishimaKei:** Wow, the King knows how to spell a word as long as malicious. Surprising.

**KageyamaTobio:** NOW IS NOT THE TIME TSUKISHIT

**Yamzzzz:** whAT DID YOU JUST CALL TSUKKI (⊙_⊙)

**TsukishimaKei:** Shut up, Yamaguchi.

**Yamzzzz:** Sorry, Tsukki.

**Yamzzzz** whispers privately to **KageyamaTobio:** I will fuck your shit up later, little boy.

**KageyamaTobio** whispers privately to **Yamzzzz:** Try me, side hoe.

**Dadchi:** What is all the commotion about?

**Noyaoyaoya:** ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION

**Tanakakaka:** FATHER WE HAVE BEEN FRAMED AND THREATENED WITH THE DEATH OF OUR CHILDREN

**Daichi:** what

**Sugamama:** that's what I said

**KageyamaTobio:** Excuse my French, but IF SOMEONE DOESN'T FUCKING EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS MANY PEOPLE AT SCHOOL HAVE THAT EDITION OF VOLLEYBALL MONTHLY WITH ME SHIRTLESS IN IT I WILL SHOVE A GOAT DOWN TSUKISHIT'S THROAT.

**Sugamama:** Kageyama!

**KageyamaTobio:** Sorry, mom...

**KageyamaTobio** whispers privately to **Noyaoyaoya, Tanakakaka,** and **TsukishimaKei:** I will fucking do it so help me god I will shove a fucking goat into all of your throats

**TsukishimaKei** whispers privately to **KageyamaTobio:** I didn't even do anything this time, though.

**Sugamama:** Okay, first of all, explain. What happened? What do you mean they have that edition? Wasn't it recalled on your demand??

**KageyamaTobio:** Of course it was! However, I walked into school after practice, and when I opened my locker aLL THESE PEOPLE LOOKED OVER AND A BUNCH OF GIRLS RUSHED TO ASK FOR MY AUTOGRAPH????????? I ALSO RECEIVED SEVERAL FLIRTY TEXT MESSAGES?!!!

**Noyaoyaoya:** oh

**Tanakakaka:** oh no

**Dadchi:** oH NO

**Sugamama:** What?! How did that happen?! Tanaka, Nishinoya- wait, DAICHI???? YOU WERE A PART OF THIS?!

**Dadchi:** Well, actually, Tanaka and Nishinoya did most of the stuff...

**Noyaoyaoya:** he totally went around giving people free copies of the recalled issue of volleyball monthly that had kageyama shirtless while we just gave them his number lol

**Sugamama:** D A I C H I . . .

**KageyamaTobio:** N I S H I N O Y A . . . T A N A K A . . .

**Sugamama:** Kageyama, I give you full on permission to do whatever you like to them. I'll be taking care of Daichi, however.

**KageyamaTobio:** Of course.

**KageyamaTobio** has logged off.

**Tanakakaka:** oh shit

**Sugamama** has logged off.

**Dadchi:** oh fUCK

**Dadchi** has been disconnected.

**Noyaoyaoya:** DAD. NO. THEY GOT DAD!!!!

**Tanakakaka** has been disconnected.

**Noyaoyaoya:** nOuehisooOOooOoOOO7827737773!!3-"(!;$+;..-$8$.$..$

**Noyaoyaoya** has been disconnected.

**BestAceEvrr:** Um...did I miss something?

**BestAceEvrr:** and why isn't Hinata in the chat...??

**TheLittleGiant10** has been added to the chat by **BestAceEvrr.**

**Reminder:** Added group members are able to read past messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh asahi when will you learn  
> yeah that reminder was totally put there for a reason  
> also this chapter is most likely shit because I wrote it on a sugar rush at 3 am  
> healthy, I know  
> as you an see, Kageyama is a little OOC here...mostly because I think he acts a little smarter than usual when he's angry  
> also, yams is totally a yandere. no one can convince me otherwise.  
> i think this part was inspired by some fanart, but i can't find it and i don't really remember the artist. some of you may know what i'm talking about, though.  
> \- Keith


	4. ew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama can deal with girls, but seeing Hinata makes hiS PALMS SWEATY, KNEES WEAK, ARMS SPAGHETTI.

**KageyamaTobio** is offline.

It didn't feel like it. Before this whole fiasco, Kageyama could drink his milk in peace. Now, he was stuck at the vending machine by a group of maybe ten girls all asking questions about "volleyball". Half of them didn't even know any of the terms used, and the other half were so obviously not hearing any of this; they probably just wanted to see his lips move.

"What position do you play?" One girl asked, probably looking to see what position he played in bed as well.

"I'm a setter."

"So cool!" They all squealed, and it physically hurt to hold back an eye roll. While thinking up some excuses for needing to leave, Kageyama spotted a familiar set of orange hair, almost red really, and time stopped for just a second. It was slow motion as Kageyama made it seem like he was just skimming the room and scratched his neck, making a fake cough. The girls fawned over him even more, and he was starting to get claustrophobic. Plus, with Hinata wandering around here, he couldn't really feel anymore uncomfortable right now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me just say that when I wrote this I wanted to rewrite it immediately  
> but I promised myself that this fanfic would be a release for me   
> therefore I will post the first thing I finish writing for every chapter. no re-writes!  
> \- keith  
> P.s. as you can tell kags is super gay it hurts  
> P.p.s okay so those girls might be based off of some real life people lolzor sorry  
> (who am I kidding they're not even reading this pffft)


	5. asahi why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima isn't such a bitch, but Kags is totally not havin' it.

**KageyamaTobio** has left the chat.

 **KageyamaTobio** has been added to the chat by **TsukishimaKei**.

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** If I have to suffer, so do you.

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** I'm getting enough notifications as it is.

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** Did that magazine problem really cause this big of a fuss? You'd think the girls at our school would have better taste.

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** Shut it, Tsukishit. Not in the mood for your insults.

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** I'm guessing that nickname is gonna stick, isn't it?

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** Would you prefer Tsukki?

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** Tsukishit, it is.

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** Not my place to really care, but, you seemed a little spaced out at practice. Don't tell me you're letting the popularity go to your head already.

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** Complete opposite of that.

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** Did not need to hear that.

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** Damn it, I didn't mean it like that! The whole thing just kind of blows. Can't even get a damn milk carton without someone asking to see your fucking abs. It's annoying.

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** Happened to me once. Hasn't happened enough to be annoying, though.

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** It's not like you care, anyway. You probably just asked to see if you could get some blackmail material.

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** I'm gonna work on some homework.

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** Surprising, the King seems to actually be doing his schoolwork.

 **KageyamaTobio** **:** Don't call me that.

 **KageyamaTobio** has logged off.

 **TheLittleGiant10** **:** Tsukishima, did Daichi mention anything about a practice match tomorrow?

 **TsukishimaKei** **:** He mentioned a few of Nekoma's players coming to practice with us.

 **BestAceEvrr** has logged on.

 **BestAceEvrr** **:** does anyone know how to change their username

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asahi, just, whyyyyyyy.  
> oh, and looks like Hinata was there....oooooh....  
> Sorry for not uploading for such a long time.  
> Don't worry, I have more chapters and I should be able to update more frequently!!  
> also, sorry if this chapter was a little less interesting!!  
> \- Keith


	6. kags no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama needs to leT THE HOMO IN.

**KageyamaTobio** is **online** , but **busy**.

The whole thing had died down quite a bit. There was still the occasional magazine lying around, or someone asking him if he was the one in the shirtless photos, but his demeanor made it pretty easy to shoot those down as well. Sighing, he avoided a group of girls (just in case) and bought himself a milk box. Kageyama's mind wandered to the thought of volleyball, thinking about maybe going to the court and practicing for a bit-

 _He'll_ _be_ _there_ _._ Nah, he didn't need to go. It wasn't that important to practice right now. _Wow_ _,_ _the_ _grass_ _was_ _green_ _today_ _._ _Wonder_ _what_ _kind_ _of_ _fertilizer_ _they've_ _been_ _using_ _._ _Seems_ _absolutely_ _lucious-_ _okay_ _,_ _let's_ _cut_ _the_ _bullshit_ _._

He did this every time. Kageyama had done it so many times this week, in fact, that it was becoming a habit to avoid this internal conflict. No one knew about it...except for Hinata. The details were a little blurry, and Kageyama found himself deleting them from his memory box only to find them reappearing with a single look at the jumpy decoy.

 _Nope_ _,_ _I'm_ not _doing_ _this_ _._ _Not_ _now_ _._ _Not_ _ever_ _._ He made that very clear for himself once he was done with his milk. _There_ _is_ _no_ _way_ _I'm_ _accepting_ _this_ _._ _It_ _never_ _happened_ _._ _Why_ _should_ _I_ _accept_ _something_ _that_ _didn't_ _happen_ _?_ He was lying. _I'm_ _not_ _._ He's running away. _Shut_ _up_ _._ Coward. _Says_ _you_ _._

Who was he talking to, again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh kags  
> we all know that keeping the homo in only makes it stronger  
> oh well  
> just more stuff for me to write  
> \- keith


	7. wake me up inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugamama is a make-up whore Dadchi is a total sugar daddy, and Nishinoya claims to have found his religion.

**Sugamama** has started a group chat with **Dadchi, Noyaoaoya** , and **Tanakakaka**.

 **Sugamama** : I swear that this is going to eat me up alive.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : mom are you getting into your own emo mode like bokuto from the other school

 **Tanakakaka** : YOU'RE A GREAT SETTER, MOM, WE BELIEVE IN YOU

 **Sugamama** : No, I'm not getting into an emo mode.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : oh

 **Sugamama** : I've just been thinking about the whole Kageyama and Hinata thing. They've been avoiding each other for a while now. And the prank you guys pulled didn't help matters.

 **Dadchi** is online.

 **Dadchi** : Sorry, I've only read the last message sent but I have a pretty good idea of what we're talking about.

 **Dadchi** whispers privately to **Sugamama** : I'm sorry about that babe I swear I'll make it up to you

 **Sugamama** whispers privately to **Dadchi** : I want pastel pink stockings, the best highlighter you can buy from Sephora, and a new Chocolate Bar pallette.

 **Dadchi** : You're right, they are avoiding each other. It doesn't really make us suffer on court, but I think it would be better to find the cause before it all breaks apart.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : you make it sound like they broke up

 **Tanakakaka** : in a way they act like they did

 **Noyaoyaoya** : oh hinaaaataaaa~ why did you have to stop spiking my balls like that~ I miss your firm grasp!!

 **Tanakakaka** : oh kageyama I need your fast sets in my hand~ no one else but me can touch them!!

 **Sugamama** : I honestly am so glad the only other person I added was Daichi.  Perverts.

 **Tanakakaka** : you love us mommy

 **Noyaoyaoya** : not as much as you love you know who tanaka~

 **Tanakakaka** : shUT

 **Dadchi** **:** ...Not going to ask.

 **Tanakakaka** **:** AT LEAST IM NOT GAY FOR JESUS

 **Noyaoyaoya** : AT LEAST IVE FOUND MY RELIGION

 **Sugamama** : I can feel Daichi's radiating heat from here.

 **Tanakakaka** : wow mom no need to express how you're the alpha

 **Sugamama** : Well, I meant anger, but that, too.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Dadchi** : First of all, I'm not angry. Second of all, _I_ am obviously the alpha.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : ⊙ω⊙

 **Tanakakaka** : EW YA'LL ARE SO GAY

 **Noyaoyaoya** : oh lil hoe don't even get me started on how unstraight you are tanaka

 **Tanakakaka** : I will literally cut off your dick

 **Sugamama** : This is not what I meant for us to discuss.

 **Dadchi** : We would have gotten more ideas together, Suga.

 **Tanakakaka** : (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Noyaoyaoya** : (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Dadchi** : You're both adopted.

 **AsaNoyaBitchezzzzz** has been added to the chat.

 **AsaNoyaBitchezzzzz** : i think i got hacked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asahi whY  
> i might space the uploads of these chapters by three days.  
> cause i really love it when you guys enjoy these chapters!!  
> and i also don't want to forget about this fic, it's fun to read.  
> im also writing a rather angsty kagehina fanfic so look out for that ;))))))  
> \- keith


	8. (can't wake up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata needs some milk.

**TheLittleGiant10** is **online** , **available**.

Hinata could give two shits and horse's ass if Kageyama didn't want to see him anymore. He could give a rat's tail if Kageyama never looked his way again. The ginger teenager could give a drop of sand and some stale chips if Kageyama never talked to him again.

So, why did it hurt so much when the setter hardly paid so much as a speck of dust towards his feelings? What was this feeling in his heart that felt like a sting, coursing through his blood stream and making it hard to breathe? Don't get him wrong. He loves being around Kageyama. Well, _loved_ _._ It had been nearly a whole month without them communicating with words, and barely even giving each other a look when it came to volleyball.

There was a reason behind all this. Hinata wasn't ashamed by what it was, but it hurt to recall the exact moment Kageyama's eyes flashed with realization as he ran off. A simple kiss. They had been cleaning the gym up, the rest of the team long gone with a reminder to lock the doors. Of course they got into a small argument, with Kageyama falling onto Hinata after the boy nearly slipped on some water - _why_ _am_ _I_ _so_ _clumsy_ _?_

The two stared at each other for moment, Hinata felt his face heat up, and then it happened.

End of story.

Shaking his head, the decoy finished eating and ran off to the gym. Kageyama didn't hang around there during lunch anymore.

 _Probably_ _because_ _of_ _me_ _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> never said this story wouldn't have a lil angst ;))))))  
> also, since i forgot to upload yesterday,  
> and this chapter is so short,  
> i'll be uploading another chat chapter tomorrow!!  
> \- keith


	9. mememe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noya is a jelly bean. Tanaka is a bald avocado.  
> Kageyama is kinky. Hinata is child.  
> Suga and Daichi are gay. Tsukishima is salty.  
> Asahi just wants frEEDOM.

**KageyamaTobio** has left the chat.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : wtf

 **KageyamaTobio** has been added to the chat.

 **KageyamaTobio** has left the chat.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : this succboi I s2g

 **KageyamaTobio** has been added to the chat.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : if you leave one more time I s2g

 **TsukishimaKei** : Swearing in front of your mother isn't very polite.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : your such a suck up

 **TsukishimaKei** : *you're

 **Noyaoyaoya** : NO YOU ARE

 **KageyamaTobio** has left the chat.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : I s2g this boi I will shove a volleyball up his ass

 **KageyamaTobio** has been added to the chat.

 **KageyamaTobio** is **busy**.

 **TsukishimaKei** : I think he'd like that.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : wat

 **TsukishimaKei** : Rumor has it that the King is pretty kinky.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : not as kinky as Suga doe

 **Sugamama** : What about me? (｡･ω･｡)

 **Noyaoyaoya** : NOTHING MOMMY I WUV YOU

 **Dadchi** : back tf off

 **Noyaoyaoya** : (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **AssaHI** : Noya can you please stop hacking me.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : it isn't hacking when you leave your phone in front of me like a tempting ball of yarn to a cat

 **AssaHI** : yes but you're not a cat.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : I see how it is

 **Noyaoyaoya** : I bet you would let kenma touch your phone though huh

 **Noyaoyaoya** : WHY DONT YOU GO GIVE HIM THE SUCC HUH ASS-AHI

 **AssaHI** : what

 **Tanakakaka** : bro no dont get jealous

 **Noyaoyaoya** : SHUT UP YOU BALD AVOCADO

 **Tanakakaka** : le gasp

 **Tanakakaka** : tru

 **Noyaoyaoya** : ayyyyyeeee

 **Tanakakaka** : ayyyyyeeee

 **TheLittleGiant10** : I forgot my homework in my locker today and the school is locked. ;-;

 **Dadchi** : Hinata, you text more punctuated than you talk.

 **TheLittleGiant10** : huh

 **Dadchi** : ajdvxiwvzi never mind I love you son with all my heart you are crwtaive and smart and amazing and that so all hshahahdhshshhahahahaha

 **Noyaoyaoya** : ???

 **Sugamama** : Respect my children. (◍•ᴗ•◍)

 **Tanakakaka** : !!!

 **EATING-KENMAS-ASS** : okay Noya I'm sorry what did I do to deserve this

 **Noyaoyaoya** : shut up asashit

 **KageyamaTobio** : Stop copying me.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : I KNEW IT YOU ARE ON YOU JUST CHANGED YOUR STATUS YOU LITTLE SHIT

 **Sugamama** : Noya. Language.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : sorry mommy

 **TheLittleGiant10** is **offline**.

 **TsukishimaKei** : Well isn't this surprising.

 **Dadchi** : Is Hinata okay? Is he trying to get his homework or something?

 **Sugamama** : Is anyone at the school right now to help him?

 **TsukishimaKei** : I believe the King stayed late so he could practice some more.

 **KageyamaTobio** : no actually i just left to go home

 **TsukishimaKei** : Bad liar.

 **KageyamaTobio** : im not lying

 **Sugamama** : Kageyama, please go help Hinata with the lock. Before he breaks something.

 **KageyamaTobio** : i said im not even there

 **Dadchi** : help him or not tossing for a week.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : ooooOoooooOOOOH

 **KageyamaTobio** : OKAY HERE I GO TO HELP THAT DUMBASS GEEZ

 **KageyamaTobio** is **offline**.

 **Tanakakaka** : pussy boi hah

 **Sugamama** whispers privately to **TsukishimaKei** : How did you know he was lying?

 **TsukishimaKei** whispers privately to **Sugamama** : He doesn't punctuate when he is.

 **FuckBoiThatGivesKenmaSucc** : okay this is ridiculous now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tsukishima why..,,..  
> noya bby no...,..,..  
> anyways  
> asdfghjkl i love all of you omf  
> i never truly though this fanfic would get so much attention & love  
> i just love all the comments i get ahhhhh  
> \- keith


	10. Edgy™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KageHina is Tsuffering™.

**Kageyama** **Tobio** is **offline** **,** **busy**.  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** is **offline,** **busy**.

Sometimes Hinata felt like the deities ruling over him just didn't care for his health. His physical health was often tested with a hit to the face with a volleyball or jumping too high and hitting his head, his mental health was tested with subjects he could not grasp for the life of him like Math and English, and his emotional health was currently being pushed way past its limit as Kageyama stood two steps away from him, trying to help with the school lock.

In one perspective, this was breaking and entering. In another, this was Kageyama's fault. In a third, it was Hinata's. Overall, the air was still dense and their breathing was growing heavy, even if they tried to ignore it.

The keys Kageyama had "accidentally" taken from the janitor's closet (it was a long story involving his loner status near the beginning of the year and lunch) were not working. Each one was met with the same failure, with both of them huffing when they started to get keys that didn't even fit. Once or twice, Hinata would admire Kageyama's eyes, though narrow and agitated, with their dark blue hue.

Hair was in the setters's eyes, and it made Hinata's hands twitch- _ugh_. That was a pet peeve- _why_ _doesn't_ _he_ _just_ _push_ _it_ _back_ _?_ _Why_ _is_ _it_ _always_ _in_ _his_ _eyes_ _?_ He was about to ask when a sound almost like a mix of a growl and grunt rumbled in the taller's male's throat. The decoy spiker jumped, blushing from how his body shivered when that noise echoed.

Kageyama grumbled something about there being too many keys for just a high school, and Hinata chuckled. Silence engulfed them again, and for a second Hinata forgot about the impending doom he felt when Kageyama ignored him.

For a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i just apologize for not updating in such a long time  
> school is being a pain and i honestly feel like shit ;-;  
> however i still enjoy writing this and omL HAIKYUU S3 IN OCTOBER UHHH  
> yeah i hope you enjoy my angst while you wait for that ;)))))  
> \- keith


	11. Edgy™ x2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata is such a done little steak.

**KageyamaTobio** is **busy**.

 **TsukishimaKei** : He hasn't been on for nearly two days.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : heyheyhey

 **Noyaoyaoya** : is that worry I sense in your voice tsukishit

 **TsukishimaKei** : Don't call me that.

 **Tanakakaka** : edgy boi

 **Noyaoyaoya** : here come dat boi

 **Tanakakaka** : bro.,.,..that meme.....,.is outdated...,.,..,..

 **Noyaoyaoya** : there go dat boi

 **KENMALOVER666** : Noya please I'm sorry I'll do anything.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : ew who forgot to take out the trash

 **Sugamama** : NISHINOYA YUU, MAKE UP WITH YOUR ACE RIGHT NOW, DAMN IT.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : (⊙_⊙)

 **KENMALOVER666** : (⊙_⊙)

 **Tanakakaka** : (⊙_⊙)

 **Yamzzz** : hello!! sorry for not being active everyone. (⌒_⌒;)

 **Tanakakaka** : holy shit even the way he types is adorable

 **Noyaoyaoya** : damn right

 **TsukishimaKei** : back tf off right now you fuckbois

 **Noyaoyaoya** : (⊙_⊙)

 **Tanakakaka** : OoOOOooOooOoH

 **Yamzzz** : TSUKKI

 **Sugamama** : As if this chat couldn't get anymore gay.

 **Dadchi** : yoyoYO GUESS WHO GOT MR. THIGHS'S PHONE

 **Sugamama** : oh shit

 **Yamzzz** : MOMMY NO

 **Noyaoyaoya** : he is my meme child yes yams yes

 **TsukishimaKei** : eat my entire foot

 **Tanakakaka** : Kinky™

 **Dadchi** : PFFFFFT NVER GONNA GUESSSSSSSSS AHAHA

 **Dadchi** : Jaijd xisv8$;"9hdoxbIdhzodbi-+$8$+$&#.$!"8#.*!$..

 **Sugamama** : I have a feeling...

 **Dadchi** : Pardon. This is Akaashi Keiji. Bokuto seems to have taken the phone of your beloved team captain when we ran into him this evening. I'll be returning it to him now. Good day.

 **KageyamaTobio** : Isn't that the pretty setter from Fukurōdani?

 **Tanakakaka** : oh

 **Noyaoyaoya** : oh

 **Yamzzz** : oH

 **Sugamama** : Oh, dear.

 **OhNoShitAh** : oh wow the amount of shit I missed.

 **TheLittleGiant10** : you gotta be fucking kidding me.

 **TheLittleGiant10** has disconnected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look another chapter  
> im not being lazy???? for once???  
> this once is a little more funny than edgy but with all the kagehina drama  
> well  
> ya know what i mean  
> i still haven't rewatched all of haikyuu so i can be caught up for s3  
> but the hype doe  
> it's lit afffff  
> ....i need to stop i sound so cringey oml  
> also btw sorry for not having ennoshita or yamz on this too much  
> i'll try to shove them into the storyline so more  
> \- keith


	12. Edgy™ x3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kags is, like, sooooooooo oblivious...right?

__**OhNoShitAh** is **busy**.  
 **KageyamaTobio** is **busy**.  
 **Sugamama** is **busy**.  
 **Dadchi** is **busy**.

"The _'pretty setter from Fukurōdani?'_ Seriously?"

Kageyama wasn't really paying attention. He knew that he had angered the "parents" of his team, but, there wasn't anything he could do about it. All he had done was ask a question with rather poorly chosen adjectives, what about it? He had the right to self-express, he thought. Suga gave a look of downright disappointment, however, and he didn't know if perhaps this meant he really didn't have any right at all.

"Well, I mean, Oikawa always coined that phrase. I just sort of thought it was international between all the volleyball teams." The boy shrugged and faced the net, wanting to serve a little bit before everyone got here and practice officially started. Ennoshita wasn't having it.

"Kageyama, you are the densest little shit."

At that point, he had been mid-way in the air, so the phrase caught him by surprise and made him mess up. Turning, with a slight tint of embarrassment on his cheeks, he stuttered a pitiful, "What?"

"You heard me," Ennoshita shrugged, yawning just a little too carelessly. "You're incredibly dense. You can't even see what's right in front of you- no, I don't mean the net, god damn it, you're hopeless."

Kageyama gripped the volleyball in his hands and watched as Daichi stiffled a chuckle after earning a glare from the team mother. He didn't understand what Ennoshita was talking about, and apparently it was very obvious because the second-year facepalmed and muttered, "Oh my gosh, how are you surviving?" while giving a hefty chuckle.

At this point, it seemed logical that Suga would speak up, giving Kageyama's shoulder a tight, motherly squeeze. "Look," he began. "What we mean to say is...well, that there are people in that group chat, as well as in this club, that would consider what you said...a little...uh, how do I put this, unfair?"

Blank slate. The setter was more confused than before. Suga sighed and tried again.

"A certain person who, say, sort of...finds them self...interested in you...and may have gotten a little jealous?"

Less of a blank slate, blushing slightly, but still confused as he cocked his head to the side. Suga rubbed his temple, turning to his fellow teammates helping with this sort of "intervention". "Should I just flat out tell'em?"

This was met with one nod, and one blantant "No." Which, of course, hadn't really been expected. Ennoshita shot Daichi a look of confusion, which he responded with some rather wisdomic words, "I believe it's better for not only them or us, but for the team that they figure it out themselves."

Suga mulled it over for a few seconds, before turning around and telling Kageyama blantly, like Daichi, "Well, just analyze what I've told you and figure it out yourself. Shouldn't be that hard."

However, when he turned around to face his other friends, his motherly facade faded away and was replaced with a tired look of insanity. _No_ _way_ _in_ _hell_ _are_ _they_ _gonna_ _figure_ _this_ _out_ _without_ _help_ _._ _Gosh_ _darn_ _,_ _my_ _gay_ _children_ _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sugamama, u will survive!!!!!!!!  
> let me just apologize profusely for not updating  
> hurricane matthew hit where i live and my depression got worse  
> but i finally finished season 2 of hq  
> and i havent watched ep 1 of s3 but im also planning  
> on watching yuri on ice so let's hope i write fanfics for that too  
> i'll be uploading another chapter later today to make up for my absence  
> \- keith
> 
> R. I. P. Kazunari Tanaka, thank you for giving Coach Ukai a voice, making me laugh, and overall being a tremendous voice actor. <3


	13. kags yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama is apparently very attractive with his hair up, which puts some kind of curse over everyone who sees his majestic milky crow forehead. Even Akaashi is dazed. And that's sayin' somethin'.

**OhNoShitAh** is offline  
**Dadchi** is offline.  
**Sugamama** is offline.

 **KarasunoFuccBoiSuccsBois** : when will my Tsuffering™ end???

 **Noyaoyaoya** : nice meme usage

 **Noyaoyaoya** : however ur not forgiven lolol

 **Tanakakaka** : noya man cum on

 **Tanakakaka** : u need the gay jesus in ur life

 **Yamzzz** : you need the lord inside of you

 **Tanakakaka** : inside

 **Yamzzz** : In si d e

 **Yamzzz** : INsIdeEe E e e

 **TsukishimaKei** : shut up yamaguchi

 **Yamzzz** : sorry tsukki

 **KageyamaTobio** : heyheyhey guess what's happening mY FELLOW VOLLEYBALLERS

 **TheLittleGiant10** : what the-

 **KageyamaTobio** : TALK ABOUT PRETTY SETTERS AMIRITE THIS ONE IS KIND OF CUTE

 **Tanakakaka** : awe man no way this is horrible timing dude

 **Noyaoyaoya** : SOME HOMOS GOT A HOLD OF KAGEYAMA'S PHONE

 **Noyaoyaoya** : *HOMIES

 **Noyaoyaoya** : eh same thing

 **KageyamaTobio** : HE LOOKS A LOT LESS SCARY WITH HIS HAIR SLICKED BACK

 **KageyamaTobio** : HOOT HOOT AMIRITJZHOSBZKX..D.CMCKF..F..DMDM...F..F.C.......,J F ISNJ+IDJZXXM.

 **TheLittleGiant10** : what the fuck

 **Sugamama** has logged on.  
**Dadchi** has logged on.  
**OhNoShitAh** has logged on.

 **Sugamama** : heard you

 **Dadchi** : were talking

 **OhNoShitAh** : shit ????

 **TheLittleGiant10** : IM SORRY AHHH

 **KageyamaTobio** : Again, deepest apologies. This is Akaashi, once again. Bokuto got a hold of Kageyama's cellphone when we met him by coincidence outside a café while it was raining. He started messing with his hair, however, I think Kageyama handled the problem in his own way. I should probably separate them...also, uh, mention how I saved his phone and have him call me here: ###-###-####. Thank you!

 **Sugamama** : WHAT DO THEY MEAN BY "HIS OWN WAY"

 **Dadchi** : THAT LITTLE SHIT

 **OhNoShitAh** : FOR FUCKS SAKE

 **Yamzzz** : TSUKKI WHAT DO YOU THINK HE DID

 **TsukishimaKei** : Kageyama is capable of doing the most vulgay things so.

 **TsukishimaKei** : *vulgar

 **TsukishimaKei** : Eh, same thing.

 **Yamzzz** : TSUKKI

 **TsukishimaKei** : Shut up, Yamaguchi.

 **Yamzzz** : sorry tsukki

 **KageyamaTobio** : If anyone goes near my hair again, I will not only sucker punch them, I will rip off their testicles and proceed to dissect each peace of their body until I earn some sort of satisfaction from it.

 **KageyamaTobio** : :)))))

 **Yamzzz** : TSUKKI

 **TsukishimaKei** : I got you, Yamaguchi.

 **Tanakakaka** : TSUKKI

 **Noyaoyaoya** : TSUKKI

 **TsukishimaKei** : ya'll can go die

 **Noyaoyaoya** : r00d

 **Tanakakaka** : what did they even do to your hair anyways

 **KageyamaTobio** : don't fucking ask

 **Sugamama** : KAGEYAMA.

 **KageyamaTobio** : sorry mom

 **aliensexter** has joined the group.

 **aliensexter** : tobio-chaaaaan~ ur so cute with ur hair up and wet like that~

 **aliensexter** sent an image named **tobio_yes.jpg**

**aliensexter:** i only wish bokuto could have gotten a better view... ;-;

 **KageyamaTobio** : KMS

 **Tanakakaka** : HOLY CRA P UM

 **Noyaoyaoya** : can I take you out to dinner

 **Tanakakaka** : BRO NO I CALL DIBS

 **OhNoShitAh** : OH NO YOU DONT YOU CHEATER

 **Tanakakaka** : we could share together, Enno~

 **OhNoShitAh** : deal

 **KageyamaTobio** : WHAT THE HELL

 **aliensexter** : tobio-chan, I know we have our differences but you have to admit you'd love to learn how to serve better from me ;))

 **KageyamaTobio** : what the- nO

 **AssahiIsGay** : hey everyone stop fighting

 **AssahiIsGay** : kageyama is obviously uncomfortable

 **KageyamaTobio** : thank you asahi

 **AssahiIsGay** whispers privately to **Noyaoyaoya** : SUCK IT HE SAID THANK YOU TO ME

 **Noyaoyaoya** whispers privately to **AssahiIsGay** : FUCK U GAY BOI

 **Sugamama** : Yes, everyone please stop fighting.

 **Dadchi** : It's best if we all leave the poor guy alone.

 **Sugamama** whispers privately yo **KageyamaTobio** : Wanna go talk about volleyball(s) later? ;)

 **Dadchi** whispers privately to **KageyamaTobio** : Want to learn some more tricks together? ;)

 **Yamzzz** : Tsukki um

 **TsukishimaKei** : Hey, Kageyama, wanna have a threesome with me and Yamaguchi?

 **KageyamaTobio** : WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU??????

 **TheLittleGiant10** : yeah, back off, he's mine.

 **KageyamaTobio** has disconnected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kags is now Tsuffering™  
> okay so that image took a whILE TO FUCKING FIND  
> and it's official art so yay me  
> i couldn't find one where he was outside and fighting with someone about his hair  
> so please bare with me ;-;  
> next chapter will be centered around kags & hina  
> it will be v gay so stick around  
> \- keith


	14. kaGAAAAAAYama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

**TheLittleGiant10** is **offline** **.**  
 **KageyamaTobio** is **disconnected**.

They were so _different_ _._  
It wasn't that Kageyama was afraid to be near him, the guy barely came up to his chest, but, in this situation, having Hinata even ten feet near him was enough to burn. He had received a message from Daichi in the volleyball group chat that practice was being held a little earlier today. He expected everyone to be there before him, seeing as he was nearly five minutes later from the designated time. However, when he reached the doors, they were surprisingly open. Closed, but unlocked. Peeking in, it came as another shocker to Kageyama when the lights weren't even on.

 _You've_ _watched_ _enough_ _horror_ _movies_ _to_ _know_ _it_ _isn't_ _a_ _good_ _idea_ _to_ _go_ _in_ _,_ he thought, biting his bottom lip before scowling, _but_ _this_ _is_ _the_ _exact_ _moment_ _where_ _you_ _realize_ _that_ _it's_ _better_ _to_ _risk_ _your_ _life_ _and_ _not_ _make_ _Daichi_ _mad_ _._

A shiver of fear ran down his spine, and definitely not because of the creepy aura. Gripping his gym bag, he walked in, sent aback just a bit when the lights turned on automatically. Kageyama's mind stupidly thought for a second that his school had gotten automatic lights for the gym, but realized all-too-soon that if they didn't even care about the condition of most of their volleyballs, there was no way they would install those type of lights in the gym. This was either very creepy coincidence or some bullshit prank.

"...Hey!" Kageyama's angered mind went straight to the latter, "If this is your idea of a shitty joke, quit while you're ahead!"

For a moment, nothing moved. And then, it did. Instead of Tanaka or Nishinoya, maybe both, hopping out of the curtains with a laugh or a fake apology, a familiar head of orange hair peeked out, and walked to the edge of the stage in a little bit of shame.

Kageyama promised to remember this. How Hinata was taller than him because of the stage, yet, he kept his head down, still making Kageyama feel sickly superior. The setter had always been one who loved power, who wanted to be at the top. He had earned the worst nickname for that, one that scared him so badly that he had nightmares sometimes. Yet, this kind if power felt filthy. It felt desecrated, wrong, humiliating. It was horrible.

Kageyama took a step back and nearly tripped, putting his gym bag down, thinking that, if he had to run out of here before he burst into tears, it was better to run as fast as he could.

They were so silent. It was uncharacteristic of Hinata, and the setter was beginning to feel the signs of a panic attack looming. He didn't like to think about them, nor did he ever speak about them either. Panic attacks hardly happened anymore, but that didn't mean they didn't happen to him. Hinata was moving again, legs striding shamefully to get off the stage. Kageyama felt his body shaking, and his vision was beginning to darken.

_Stop_ _,_ _stop_ _,_ _stop_ _._

Suddenly, he couldn't breathe. Kageyama didn't like being constricted. He didn't like being forced into making a choice, but here it was.

It was _run_ or _**break**_ _ **down**_ _._

He chose the latter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdfghjkl  
> please don't kill me  
> when i said it would be gay i never  
> meant it would be all happy  
> ahhhhhhhh  
> i'm sorryyyyyyy ;-;  
> \- keith


	15. help me i'm child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an attempt to mix happy moments with angst, the author ruins their own writing style.  
> Also, Ennoshita is roast king.

**TheLittleGiant10** has created a groupchat named **help me plz**.

 **TheLittleGiant10** is offline.

 **TsukishimaKei** : What the...?

 **Tanakakaka:** r00d

 **Noyaoyaoya:** r00d

 **Sugamama:** Stop that.

 **Dadchi:** What's going on?

 **EatingKenmasA$$:** Hinata added us to this chat and then went offline.

 **Dadchi** : I see that, Asahi, but why?

 **EatingKenmaA$$:** No idea. Last time I checked, he wasn't online the entire morning.

 **Dadchi:** Strange. Also, has anyone seen my phone? I could have sworn I took it with me after practice last night, but it's nowhere. I had to log into my Skype with my mother's.

 **Dadchi:** I'm eating breakfast right now.

 **Sugamama:** That's strange. Both Daichi's phone and Hinata.

 **Yamzzzz:** hinata said he was going to be at the gym extra early today, apparently.

 **Tanakakaka:** extra

 **Noyaoyaoya:** early?

 **EatingKenmasA** $$: Stop that.

 **Dadchi** : Nishinoya, please change Asahi's name to something appropriate. I can't take him seriously.

 **Noyaoyaoya** : gotcha

 **AsahiIsGay** : this is not an upgrade from before.

 **Dadchi** : close enough.

 **Sugamama** : excuse me but my sON MAY BE IN TROUBLE?!??!1??!

 **Dadchi** : Suga, for the last time, he is not our child.

 **Dadchi** : *your

 **Noyaoyaoya** : (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Tanakakaka** : gay

 **Noyaoyaoya** : look who's talking

 **OhNoShitAh** : Tanaka, my body us your fucking religion, shut up.

 **AsahiIsGay** : hah

 **OhNoShitAh** : I'm sorry, did I say something you found funny, Mr. I'm-Too-Straight-To-Express-My-Love-For-Nishinoya?

 **Noyaoyaoya** : buRN

 **OhNoShitAh** : don't even get me started on midget dick over here

 **OhNoShitAh** : acting like he can top when we all know Asahi turns him into a bottom puddle

 **OhNoShitAh** : trying to act like a power bottom brat when we allllll know he's a shy little screamer

 **OhNoShitAh** : Mr. I-Want-Attention-Let-Me-Act-Jealous-For-No-Reason

 **Sugamama** : ENNOSHITA STOP OMF

 **Dadchi** : hoLY

 **BestAceEva** : my name is back to normal what is this

 **Tanakakaka** : I think you broke my bro

 **Yamzzzz** : that roast was better than my grandma's thanksgiving cooking

 **OhNoShitAh** : oh and this little shy pinch server right here

 **TsukishimaKei** : if you even fucking dare lay a finger on his curly little head I will shove a glass, sharp dildo so far down your throat that the next time Tanaka fucks you, pieces of glass are gonna get stuck in his dick

 **OhNoShitAh** : purest child, very sweet, amazing, works hard, etc. :)))))

 **TsukishimaKei** : thought so

 **Yamzzzz** : TSUKKIIIIII

 **TsukishimaKei** : Shut up, Yamaguchi.

 **Yamzzzz** : Sorry, Tsukki.

 **Sugamama** : we got way off track, DID YA'LL FORGET THAT HINATA COULD BE IN DANGER

 **TheLittleGiant10** : I'm here.

 **Sugamama** : HINATA MY CHILD

 **TheLittleGiant10** : I need help.

 **Dadchi** : what's wrong? What happened?

 **TheLittleGiant10** : Kageyama had a panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried!!  
> lolol sorry if this sort of sucks  
> i couldn't decide what to finish it with so  
> well  
> oops  
> another cliffhanger  
> i'll work on the next chapter asap!!  
> school has been stressful lol  
> happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate it!!  
> \- keith


	16. liar liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobio, please.

**KageyamaTobio** is **online (invisible).  
** **TheLittleGiant10** is **online (active).**

The setter was ready to push his fellow teammate into the nearest ditch and pray he was short enough not to climb out. What part of "I'm fine" did the small teenager not understand? Was he really that dumb? It worked with everyone else who had seen his panic attacks (which were only his mother and father, but still). And, yet, the idiot just _had_ to contact the other teammates.

"You started _crying_ , Kageyama!" Hinata raised his voice at him, his voice cracking slightly. "Your whole body was shaking- I didn't know what to do- it all seemed so- I couldn't-"

"For the last time, _I'm fine!_ " The setter emphasized again, only for those words to fall upon deaf ears from the guy before him who seemed to only interrupt himself every five words.

"But you-"

_"Shut up!"_

The gym became quiet, and Hinata watched as Kageyama's body began to shake again. Not as bad as before, but still rather badly. After a few moments, his body returned to its emotionless state. The setter, who had his head looking down at the volleyball he had grabbed in an attempt to normalize things, felt his brain pulsing against his skull. And his blood rushing through his veins. He'd never had an attack this bad. Never.

He'd never had one in front of anyone.

Especially Hinata.

"...I just want to help you."

His head shot up.

Hinata's eyes were glazed over with emotion. He looked a little more mature than how he usually did. His face a light tint of red, but his body language giving off a determined aura.

"I want to help you get better, both mentally and physically." He ran a hand through his hair, and Kageyama almost looked away so he wouldn't get entranced by how it bounced slightly. "I want to be their for you during volleyball, as well as real life. I want to be by your side, helping you overcome obstacles you never thought you could face." Hinata looked right into Kageyama's irises. "We all do." He took a step closer, swallowed and added almost shamelessly,

"Especially me, Tobio."

For a second, sound and movement stopped. Kageyama found himself in a state of both harmony yet chaos. Here was Hinata, basically stating he wanted to be by his side. For how long? Just for volleyball or forever? Kageyama found his body not caring as something pushed him to say,

"Well, I don't care so just-"

_"Stop pushing me away!"_

Hinata caught him by surprise, pulling him down by the collar and allowing him to truly _see_ the emotion hidden in his own irises. "Let us help you! Let _me_ help you! But, most of all,"

Kageyama felt his heart prepare to burst,

_"Let me love you!"_

The gym door opened just then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i just say  
> that i wrote this  
> yet im not caught up on hq s3  
> but aye  
> yoi episode 10  
> no spoilers but  
> yES ??!?!???!??!???  
> JUST YES ?!?!?!?!??????"1'1'1''1  
> also sorry about this crappy angst  
> im stretching this plot too much  
> sorry ;-;  
> ill wrap it up next time!! i swear!!  
> \- keith


End file.
